• Rob: Psst.
  • Me: What do you need I'm looking at cats

my mom getting a phone with a keyboard resulted in me just receiving this message:

Hope you are feeling better.  I hate that I can’t fix things. xoxo

brb sobbing

moms <3

Texts From Jane Eyre | The Hairpin ↘

JANE
MY LITTLE SUNBEAM
WHERE ARE YOU
I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE
I’m taking a walk
be back for dinner
AH YES MY CAGED SPRITE
COMMUNE WITH NATURE AND UPON YOUR RETURN
RELATE TO ME THE VAGRANT GLORIES OF THE  RUINED WOODS
do you really want me to describe my walk to you
MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU POCKET WITCH

Me:  Huh.  Boston is only #9 on the US Binge Drinking Top 10.  Want to fix that this fall?Rob:  I thought you&#8217;d never ask! 

Me:  Huh.  Boston is only #9 on the US Binge Drinking Top 10.  Want to fix that this fall?
Rob:  I thought you’d never ask! 

(Source: airows)

It wasn’t sexy. I was very confused.

— Rob

  • Mom: Hot toddy just like Mama used to make!
Conversations Normal People Don't Have
  • Rob: I want to help you adapt your novel for screen.
  • Me: Which one?
On Sewing.
  • Rob: It's just strange. I also am an idiot because I pulled out the broken thread before marking its location.
  • Genna: Don't worry about it. No one is going to approach you with a ruler. & If you fuck it up I'll fix it.
  • Rob: I'd tell you how much I value our friendship, but I already gushed at you once this month.
  • Genna: Sewing AND gushing once a month? I'll let you fill in the punchline.
  • Me: I get weirdly emotional at these Beauty and the Beast in 3D commercials.
  • Rob: Disney makes me cry. It's okay.
  • Me: So we shouldn't mix whiskey night with The Little Mermaid.
  • Rob: Oh God no.
  • Me: Especially given how you feel about redheads.
  • Rob: It's been awhile since one made me cry.
I need to start a blog called Drunk Texts from Rob.

I am in no condition to be playing apples to apples.

discoverynews:

Newly Found Alien Planet Could Host Life
The newly confirmed planet, Kepler-22b, orbits smack in the middle of the habitable zone of a star similar to our own.

Previous research had hinted at the existence of such Earth-like  planets, where liquid water could exist, but this is the first time such  a life-friendly alien planet has been confirmed.
The planet is about 2.4 times wider around than Earth. It’s still  unknown whether Kepler-22b has a rocky, gaseous or liquid composition,  but its discovery is a milestone to finding Earth-like planets.
“This is a major milestone on the road to finding Earth’s twin,” Douglas  Hudgins, Kepler program scientist at NASA Headquarters in Washington  said

Read more

Space amazes and terrifies me simultaneously.  Rob and I had a really intelligent discussion about this via text that I would like to share with you.
me:  When you see news like &#8220;Astronomers confirm &#8216;Earth Twin&#8217;&#8221; do you flip the fuck out?Rob:  YES OH MY GOD.  I haven&#8217;t seen it yet though.  Is it hilariously far away?me:  600 light years.  I am literally looking up the speed of the Millennium Falcon. 

discoverynews:

Newly Found Alien Planet Could Host Life

The newly confirmed planet, Kepler-22b, orbits smack in the middle of the habitable zone of a star similar to our own.

Previous research had hinted at the existence of such Earth-like planets, where liquid water could exist, but this is the first time such a life-friendly alien planet has been confirmed.

The planet is about 2.4 times wider around than Earth. It’s still unknown whether Kepler-22b has a rocky, gaseous or liquid composition, but its discovery is a milestone to finding Earth-like planets.

“This is a major milestone on the road to finding Earth’s twin,” Douglas Hudgins, Kepler program scientist at NASA Headquarters in Washington said

Read more

Space amazes and terrifies me simultaneously.  Rob and I had a really intelligent discussion about this via text that I would like to share with you.

me:  When you see news like “Astronomers confirm ‘Earth Twin’” do you flip the fuck out?
Rob:  YES OH MY GOD.  I haven’t seen it yet though.  Is it hilariously far away?
me:  600 light years.  I am literally looking up the speed of the Millennium Falcon

Texts from Saturday night.

My brother: So im at a ridiculous christmas sweater party and the 12 days just came on and i cant help to think about eddie izzard
Me: FIIIIIVE GOOOOLD REEEEENGS

my mom having a texting plan is already the best thing.

Me: Apparently my walking with purpose is convincing, as I was just asked for directions.

Mom:  day 2 and already mistaken for a walking masshole

gems from my text message inbox, vol. 3

Now that I have an unlimited texting plan, I need to clean out my text message inbox more frequently.  Here are some hilarious things I found.

Mom:  Did they have furry walls?  Good night.

C [my current flatmate]:  On their last 10 minute break, the kids in the ensemble spilled 5 beverages in their dressing room.

The day after Osama bin Laden was killed…
Rob:  Theres a huge fucking cop on a huge fucking horse giving the hairy eyeball to middle eastern people on the common. I feel safer in a nice racist way.

At her sister’s college graduation:
Gwen:  A kid named James Joyce just graduated haha oh and danielle steel wow 

Rob:  Time capsule from 99 in my room. Gas was $1.21. Fuck everything.

Steven:  I’m a classy broad.

1 2 »
You've been owned